There are certain things you should do if you are a mom. And I have been a tad, remiss about one of the most basic of mom jobs. I have failed to show my six year old Star Wars. But I am trying to do better. We are playing Lego Star Wars with Elijah and we have started to show him the movies. Next we are getting our pictures taken with Yoda. I mean, heck, he just hangs out at my parents house all day, why not? But all this Star Wars has me thinking. I keep thinking about the Force.
I have often contemplated what I would do with the force if I had it. And sometimes, but do I wish I had it.
Dishes - Okay, I'm your garden variety stay at home mom. If I had the force I would use it to bake, vacuum and wipe things up. But the best idea yet is I would never have to get my hands wet with the dishes. I would use the Force to do it. All the while relaxing nearby.
Tow Truck - You know that scene in the first movie? (I think it's the first movie. Or rather A New Hope. That one will always be the first one in my book.) But I mean the scene where Luke is trying to get his ship thingie out of the water. All the while Yoda is nagging him and hindering him while hanging out on his back, hitching a ride? Well, if I had the Force and my car broke down, I wouldn't ever need a tow truck again. I would just haul it down to the mechanic myself.
Remote Control Finder - This is the number one reason I wish I had the Force. I would so like to use it find lost items. The keys, the cell phone, the checkbook and most especially, the remote. I swear one goes missing about once a week. They need pagers on them or, wait...no! I have the Force I can use this to find the remote.
Shopping - Okay, so who couldn't use those Old Jedi Mind Tricks while shopping? I have this imaginary conversation in my mind. I am at Children's Place and I see the cutest shirt ever for my girls. But full price it's $24.99. Are you kidding me? For a shirt? I am about to give up on the shirt when I remember. Oh yes, I have the Force. I go talk to the sales clerk.
K: "I would like to buy this shirt on sale."
Clerk: "But it is not on sale."
(I wave my hand.)
K: "It is on sale."
Clerk: "It is on sale."
K: "It's $1.99."
Clerk: "It's $1.99"
K: "Sweet!" And she rings up my purchase.
Can you imagine? I really wish I had the Force right now.
Alas, I am stuck doing things the old fashion way, because, I mean really. I don't have the Force. Sigh.
What about you? How would you use the Force?
An Update
1 year ago
8 comments:
A New Hope is the only one that Yoda doesn't show up in. It's been too long since you've watched these movies, Kari. It's Empire.
Oh, and it would be cool. Having the force was a boyhood dream I had . . . I won't go into any of the details of those dreams. Rather juvenile, but still fun to remember.
Hmm, I can think of some more uses for the mind control.
L: "I want to watch the ROBOT MOVIE"
D: "You want to eat your dinner"
L: "I want to eat my dinner."
D: "And go to bed early."
L: "And go to bed early."
C: "Honey, I where are my pants?"
D: "You will keep track of your things."
C: "I will keep track of my things."
D: "And you will do all the laundry."
C: "And I will do all the laundry."
Denise,
I feel strangely compelled to do my laundry, but where on earth are my pants?
Here are a few ideas:
1. I don't have to keep my lightsaber skills confined to my apartment, but could unleash them upon the world.
2. Based on actual events (bear in mind, we are apartment managers):
Tenant: I'm sorry, I spent all my money on something fleeting and can't afford to pay rent. Can you waive the late fee and allow me to pay *ack* [Tenant clutches at throat, as if trying to remove an invisible hand]
Jon: I find your lack of funds disturbing.
Jess: Enough of this. Honey, release him!
Jon: As you wish.
Tenant: *GASP*
3. Obama supporter: I love Obama because I won't have to worry about paying for anything anymore. Yipee!
Me: After voting Republican, you will remove yourself from the world's genepool.
Obama supporter: ...remove myself from the world's genepool.
Democratic friend: How come that never works on my conservative friends?
Me: It's a Jedi trick that only works on weak minds.
BTW, if you want to check out our blog, look here:
http://jjakfam.blogspot.com/
Love you guys,
Us
I like the second scenario, but I think you are going to the dark side if you are choking people. I of course, would only use the good side what with my household tasks that would make Obi-Wan upset.
Well, Kari, may the farce be with you as you endeavor to do your household tasks.
What are you saying Matt???
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