Or should I just say disgusting. Yesterday Lauren succeeded in our worst nightmare. Let me just start at the beginning.We were trying to hurry and get ready because we had a busy morning and friends coming around noon. Matt was going to jump in the shower, and I asked if he could shower with Lauren also (this is how we clean our babies. Baths make me too nervous.) He starts the water to let it warm up. He waits, and waits....and waits and waits and it never warmed up. He calls down to me and luckily I am doing laundry, standing next to the water heater. Lauren had turned it down low (again) and I quickly fix it. Matt yells down that he is taking a cold shower, but not with Lauren. He lets her walk around. I continue to do laundry. Several minutes later I finish up laundry a little after Matt finishes his shower. I hear, "Ahhhhhhhhh! Lauren!" Then the bath water starts going. This is followed quickly by, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! LAUREN! STOP!!" And Lauren is suddenly crying. I am running up the stairs at this point and Matt is yelling again, "LAUREN BABY, STOP!" Then she starts crying harder. I have to admit I was wild with curiosity at this point. But a part of me wanted to run out of the house and miss the whole affair, whatever it was.
I come in the bathroom and Lauren is sitting in a tub with fecal matter in her mouth. I stand there for a second, calming my suddenly swirling tummy. "Did you miss the poop on the stairs?" Matt asks.
Poop on the stairs? Hmmmm, I hope I missed it.
I walk over and yes, I missed it both literally and figuratively. (Thank Heavens.) I proceed to clean up the poop on the stairs. Then scrub the stairs. Then Lysol the stairs. Next my crying baby. I hose her down in the tub, scrub her with soap, we swish out the poopy mouth and give her a drink to take the taste out. It was quite disgusting. The only way I could clean this one was think about Hawaii while I was cleaning it up. Gross. Gross. Gross.
Apparently, the two screams (by Matt) were to stop her from eating her poop. The first cry by Lauren was because the poop tasted gross. (I have never eaten poop and I could have told her this.) Lauren's second cry was because the poop tasted gross a second time. (Lauren's most shining quality is her tenaciousness. I have never worried about it before, but I think it could kill her if she doesn't develop some common sense.)
The girls got talent. A talent for creating a catastrophe.
8 comments:
Oh my!!!!!! I can't say that I've ever faced that one! Yuck!!!! What we are "willing" to deal with as parents...Argh!
Why, oh why did i have to read that. i'll never be the same. And you don't even know how many times this story will be retold when she is older and how happy she'll be about it. Oi.
ew. ew ew ew ew ew! ewwwww!! Now I know why you were running late! I'm sorry!!!
Yea, that is what we didn't tell you. That is also why were weren't kissing her or sharing food with her. Blah!
Great, Kari. I'm sure everyone wanted the mental image of me naked, dealing with a poopy baby. Oh, wait. I guess the real gross part was the poop. Hey! No comments from Alan or Christian!
To be truthful, I was so shocked by the poop in her mouth, I missed the fact you were naked. I know, I'm a little amazed myself. It was a little traumatizing.
That sounds disgusting! That does top everything I"ve heard of in the gross department. Much, much grosser than Jackson drinking old bird bath water with an empty snail shell he found in the garden.
That is pretty gross though.
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